Sometimes I use this forum to vent my pain and frustration. Since it is my blog, I guess that is OK. Anyway, I am not normally a negative person. I have always been optimistic. When confronted with a problem my natural inclination is to look for a solution rather than waste a lot of time bemoaning the problem.
So, in an attempt to be more true to my nature I want simply to say, "I had a good night!" That means I slept in my NEW recliner for over 4 hours and then slept another 3 hours in my old chair. That may not seem like much to "normal" people, but given my recent experience, this was an exceptional night.
Confession: 2 Lortab and 2 Ambian. Regrets? Absolutely none.
For the first 45 years of my life, sleep was normal. While I never required many hours of sleep, I did at least sleep through the night and awakened refreshed and ready for a new day and a new opportunity. Then my (our) life changed forever. Our son was killed.
I did not sleep at all that night. I have not slept normally since. I might sleep an hour, stay awake three or four hours and then sleep another hour or two. Some nights I did not sleep at all. Many nights I would sit up on the side of the bed and nap until my neck would break, figuratively. Usually, I would just give up and go in the den and read or watch TV. It was during these years that I realized I did not need Premium Cable Channels. I would be watch something on Cinemax, fall alseep, and wake up staring at porn. I discovered why our son called Cinemax, Skinemax. So we canceled those channels.
Even during all these years I managed to get some sleep. But for the last 6 months, sleep has been an even more illusive target. My Pulmonologist says I do not have sleep apnea, the suspected culprit for everyone who learned of my difficully sleeping. Apparently, fat folks have a high rate of sleep apnea, and since I am fat... simple diagnosis from prejudiced perspective. But that is another issue.
Now, back to last night. Slept. Thank the Lord, drugs and my good wife for finding the recliner.
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Good! No regrets! This is NO time for regrets! You are ALMOST there, and just do what it takes TO get there! Once it's over, it's over and you will be ON your waaaaaay to life RENEWED! In Jesus name!!! Amen!
ReplyDeleteOh! And Pastor Dr. John reminded me this morning that Jesus wishes a FULL measure of JOY for all His people! So, I wish you great JOY today! And everyday! And for Dear Wife too!
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