I finally heard from the Cardiologist and the echo cardiogram revealed no problems. Now I wait for the surgery date.
A nurse called yesterday from my insurance company. It was a nurse I had not spoken with before. She asked a lost of health status questions. She finally said, "You really are fortunate that nothing more is wrong with you."
I guess it is a matter of perspective. However, other than obesity, knees, arthritis and high blood pressure controlled by medication, I seem to be OK. Usually, health care professionals are surprised that I do not have cardiac problems, high cholesterol, high triglycerides, diabetes, sleep apnea, other serious ailments.
Of course, for most of my life, if I went to the doctor the cause of my problem was obesity. I discovered that is the refuge of lazy or prejudiced doctors. Just as many doctors do not take the ailments of the elderly seriously, so many do not take seriously the ailments of the obese. They name the easy culprit and tell you if you loose weight, that will solve your problem. And for most of them losing weight is simply "pushing back" in one form or other.
I am grateful I have found some doctors who look a little deeper and do not take the easy diagnosis of obesity. These people actually see me as a person and not just a fat person.
About 12 years ago my wife and I spent 3 weeks at the Pritikin Center in Santa Monica. The trip was a gift from a very loving friend. Our first full day at this "fat farm" was consumed with a thorough physical. The next day we had to see the doctor on staff so he could review our physical condition and recommend a diet and exercise program. I went into his office and sat in front a a man about 50 who was about 5'8" and probably weighed 130lbs. He looked at my file for obviously the first time and after a long exasperated sigh said, "Damn!" (I thought then he would tell me I was dying.) He went on to say, "I've been eating this rabbit food for years and your numbers are better than mine (except for weight, of course).
About 6 years ago I went to an annual meeting in a church where I presided. Afterward a retired physician came up to me and with the haughtiness the obese are accustomed to said, "Do you know you have gross morbid obesity?" I must confess my first thought was to blurt out, "No S____! I never looked in a mirror. Do I really?" Of course, I said "Yes, I am aware of that and thank you for telling me."
Such is the common experiences of the obese. Add to this the pointing fingers, the stares, the laughter, the obvious disdain, the judgementalism, the hostility, the prejudice, the rudeness, the blame game and all the rest and you will know something about what it is to be obese. Some of us with healthy egos (some say its too healthy!) can usually shrug it off. But we lie if we do not admit it hurts. And it has hurt me from early childhood.
The most hurtful comment came from an older cousin 50 years ago when he called me, "Turtle Bucket." I still do not know what a turtle bucket is, but I knew he was ridiculing me for being fat. The fact that he was a bully and cruel to everyone made no difference. I only knew at that time he was cruel to me.
There is also the assumption that if you are truly obese, there is some terrible trauma in your early life that caused it. You eat to medicate that pain. This may be true. However, in several counseling sessions, in and out patient programs and genuine self-examination in the greatest honesty I can generate before God, I have never been able to identify a trauma on which to place blame. Sometimes I wish there was something. Then I could escape responsibility. It would be someone else's fault. But I can't find that excuse.
I do not know why I am fat, other that my remarkably slow metabolism. I know I eat too much. This is I eat more than my body burns. But one of the most frustrating things is to know friends for years, some for life, who have always eaten more than me and are not fat.
The other reason for obesity always noted is laziness, or a sedimentary life style. That is not me - at least until I got crippled. I have always been a person of high energy, great work ethic and numerous activities and interests. The popular attitude toward the obese is they do nothing but sit at home, binge on high caloric foods and watch TV. Ain't so. At least for me.
So we live with the judgement and the prejudice from the general public, our doctors and often our own family. That is the experience of all who are significantly obese.
Now, Doc, lets get this turned around for a change! My heart is ready for it - and the pumping muscle is too.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
First time I saw you was in a crusade in a small town in my country. Because I'm short you looked to me like a giant not only because you were heavy but also you were so tall for me! so I decided not to come to you and say hello. Everybody was trying to shake your hands and talk with you although you couldn't understand any word :), but then I don't remember who challenged me to speak with you to practice my English! so I approached to you and say hello in my funny English :) maybe you don't remember that situation, but what I realized in that moment was people didn't care your physical condition they wanted to touch you or say hello just because you were a giant to them too, a spiritual giant. And I though at that moment you were a spiritual giant to me too, and I just desired for you and me become friends and know you more, but then I said myself "maybe I will never see him anymore", but God's plan were over there and He not always let me know you like a person and friend but also like my mentor.
ReplyDeleteSo, I'm very happy you decided to go through this process,but you will always be for me "a spiritual giant" I love you so much, and I'm praying for you always!
Hugs